Sex Talks with a Partner: What Issues Must Be Discussed in a Couple?
It’s hard to deny that sex is an absolutely unique component of humans’ life. Depending on the situation, it can be a way of communication, a means of providing future generations, a source of positive emotions, a natural remedy or a heavy duty. The latter occurs in some couples where partners lack mutual understanding or can’t talk on “sexual” topics. If sex doesn’t satisfy one of the partners, and gives him or her negative emotions instead, relations between the couple are not likely to last long.
Why is it necessary to talk about sex with your partner?
Unresolved sexual problems often spiral into offenses, scandals, depressions, mutual misunderstanding in other spheres of life, general dissatisfaction with life and with the partner, and finally alienation. Even if you don’t realize it completely, sex really impacts other spheres of your life. It is not uncommon that a couple breaks up because the partners can’t get along. Analyzing the situation with the help of a psychoanalyst, they find out that the roots of the problem are in a unsatisfactory sexual life. That is why sexologists recommend regular discussion of sexual issues – everything from female Viagra to preferred poses in bed and secret fantasies.
What to discuss?
It’s hard to give general recommendations here, because so much depends on the degree of partners’ closeness, sociability, their inhibitions and preferences. However, there are some issues, which, according to experts’ opinion, must be spoken out.
- Earlier and current sexually transmitted diseases. Of course, it is not the most pleasant fodder for conversation with a significant other, but it’s better to choose the right time for this talk and have it. You want to be confident in your partner, don’t you? And so she does. If a problem exists, you need to discuss methods of contraception and treatment together. It’s better than a “surprise” in the form of an STD received from your partner.
- Other health issues. Do you buy generic Viagra for maintaining an erection? Do you have some other health restrictions? For example, when on Viagra, a man can’t take the drug more than once a day, so the amount of times per day for sexual intercourse is limited for him. It’s better to warn your partner about these restrictions than make her be lost in conjectures.
- Each person has his own vision of an ideal sex life. And everyone has their own list of taboos – things that are unacceptable for him/her. If you are going to build long-term relations with your partner, you must know about each other’s preferences.
- Your sexual fantasies and desires. This is the next step in a partners’ mutual trust and closeness. Of course, it doesn’t mean that you will tell your girlfriend of your fantasies on the very next day after the first night together. This kind of talk requires a special atmosphere of intimacy and closeness, which is possible only when partners completely trust to each other.
How to talk?
It is very important to choose the right time for talking. Don’t try to discuss things like how Viagra works right before intimacy, unless you want to destroy the atmosphere of excitement and readiness for delight. The time immediately after sex is also not a good idea. These magic moments are filled with bliss and satisfaction. A deep relaxation and a feeling of a complete satisfaction are the best conditions for switching to a refreshing sleep.
Also, it is not recommended to discuss sexual affairs if one of you is irritated, annoyed, tired or depressed. Choose the moment when both of you are in high spirits and the atmosphere itself invites open talk. It can be a Sunday evening, for example, which you spend together with a cup of tea or glass of wine. Or you can choose any other time you like.
Be open and sincere with your partner, and this will improve the quality of your sexual life together.