How Much Sex do We Really Need: How to Find Your Individual Norm!
Sex is good for health; this has been repeatedly proved by different researchers in the framework of surveys, analyses of theoretical data and clinical trials. But specialists say that a really positive effect from sex is reached only when it brings delight and is regular. If the first condition is more or less clear, the second one can be quite ambiguous. Not all the people really understand what it means – to have sex regularly. Is there any “gold standard” that we need adhere to? Do we need to have sex every day or once a week, or maybe once a month? In fact, in this case regularity is a subjective indicator, and your optimal pace will depend on a variety of factors.
Our Demands Tend to Change with Ageing
It is not a secret that most healthy young guys think of sex almost all the time. At the age of 18-22 men are at their peak of sexuality. Testosterone, which is responsible for sex drive, reaches its highest level at this period. Young men are full of energy and desire. For many of them this period of life is the time of experimenting, the period of trying sex with different partners, in different places and different poses. They assert themselves by doing so; sexual experience lets them feel older, cooler and more masculine. At this age it can be quite normal for a man to have sex every day and even more than once a day.
As men grow older, they become more reserved. After the age of 25-27 many of them get married and their lives (including their sex lives) becomes more predictable, more slow-paced. Having one beloved partner nearby, many men stop experimenting and opt for stability and regularity. Though the pace of sex life is still different in different couples, on average, 2-3 times a week can be considered a kind of a norm for married males.
With the course of ageing, the intensity of sex life tends to reduce further. After 35 many men are quite satisfied with sex on weekends, and after 45 many couples practice it once in two weeks or even more rarely. Of course, these figures are very approximate, as people have different tempers and different states of health. But on average the situation is likely to be something along those lines.
It Depends on Your Temper as Well
Some people are “hot”, and others are “cold”. Often these qualities are inborn, and we can do nothing about it. There are men (and women), who are ready to have sex every day even at 45, while others are indifferent to it from the very beginning. Though it is difficult to collect any statistics in this sphere, it is generally considered than men of southern nations are hotter and more sexual, while men from northern countries tend to be more reserved and less passionate.
How will I Know What is Normal for Me?
You don’t need to try to comply with any standards. When speaking of regularity, specialists usually mean the following:
- You must be absolutely satisfied with the current pace and intensity of your sexual life. You can do it once a day or once in two weeks, but if you feel good about it – it is okay.
- You both must get pleasure from having sex. If you want it every day, and for your partner it is just an irritating duty, it can be a sign of your sexual incompatibility. The problem can be resolved by means of an open heart-to-heart talk or consultation with a specialist (sexologist).
Keep in mind that regularity is even more important than the total amount of sex. If you feel comfortable with once-per-week sex, try to adhere to this schedule.
Things You Should Never Do
Some men after they learn about the importance of regularity in their sex life make silly mistakes, trying to comply with non-existing standards of an “average” man. If you want to make the most of sex, never do the following:
- Don’t compare yourself to other people. You are unique, and you don’t have to be like anybody else. If your friend says that he has it twice a day, don’t turn yourself inside out, trying to do the same.
- Don’t overestimate the importance of the “schedule”. If you commonly do it twice a week, but this time you feel unwell or are in no mood, don’t make yourself to start it. Just go to bad and fall asleep.
Don’t think of sex as of a duty or a remedy. Think of it as an enjoyable pursuit. When you really enjoy your sex life and have sex with pleasure, you strengthen your health. And in fact it doesn’t matter if you have missed one or two days.